protection

i want to curl up in the notches of your spine
safe in the warmth
in the shadow
in the valley between one vertebrae and another.
i want to curl up
like a flower falling asleep,
holding itself together,
shading the sun in its belly
so it doesn’t spill out all at once,
instead percolating gently
through folded calyx.
i want to be protected,
separate the straw from my flaxen hair
and let you bathe me
like the most precious newborn
while i sob into my knees
and break into a million hazy vignettes;
i have forgotten how to be whole.
i want our fingers, or eyelashes
to interlace until we forget
we were ever distinct.
you’ll fight the shadows,
triumphantly lighting matches in an
abandoned brick apartment,
not daring to sleep in case
they steal me away in the night.
i want to curl up in the notches of your spine
and feel safe in the valleys
of your protection.